Language Learning for Couples: 7 Practical Tips

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Editor’s note from Benny: Erin McNeaney and Simon Fairbairn are the British couple behind Never Ending Voyage. I followed their vegetarian travel advice before I met them, later hosted them in Medellín, and Simon helped me fix technical issues on this site.

The rest of this guest post is Erin’s first-person account of learning Spanish while travelling with Simon in South America. Their examples describe what they tried together, not rules every couple has to follow.

Learning a language while travelling as a couple has a particular trade-off. You have a built-in practice partner, but it is easy to return to the language you already share whenever a conversation becomes difficult. You may also have less reason to seek company simply because you already have each other.

The answer is not to ban your shared language or compete over progress. Agree on what each person wants, then create practice that supports both partners.

A note from the Fluent in 3 Months team before we get started: You can chat away with a native speaker for at least 15 minutes with the “Fluent in 3 Months” method. All it takes is 90 days. Tap this link to find out more.

Establish a Shared Desire

Start by asking whether your partner wants to learn the local language and how much time they want to give it. If you are both interested, agree on one or two shared goals rather than assuming you will study in the same way or at the same pace.

If only one of you is interested, keep that learning goal from becoming an obligation for the other person. The learner can book lessons, meet a conversation partner or attend an event alone. In shared social situations, translate or change languages when needed so nobody is deliberately excluded.

If you both want to learn, these seven approaches can help you build a routine together:

Agree on Target-Language Time

While studying Spanish in Buenos Aires, we tried a “No English Week”. We estimated that we used Spanish about 70% of the time. It made switching into Spanish feel easier for us, but it was tiring when we needed a dictionary to discuss complicated subjects. That was our experience, not evidence that a full week or a particular percentage will work for every couple.

A shorter, agreed window may be more sustainable: Spanish over breakfast, for example, or the target language during a walk. Either partner should be able to pause the exercise when clarity, safety or an important personal conversation matters more than practice. Mixing languages is fine.

Use the Language in Different Situations

Speaking only with each other can reinforce the same gaps, so add other voices, settings and kinds of language. Here are several options:

• Attend a language exchange together. We used Conversation Exchange to find a Spanish partner and also attended organised exchange events. Agree beforehand whether you will stay together or join different conversations.
• Look for local events. Platforms such as Couchsurfing list hosts, travellers and events. Check current fees, safety information and event details directly before relying on a listing.
• Have ordinary, welcome interactions. A brief exchange with a server, driver or shop worker can be useful when they have time and are open to it. Do not turn someone who is working into an unpaid lesson.
• Do an activity in the target language. We learnt to cook papas rellenas (“stuffed potatoes”) in a Spanish-language class in Bolivia, took a five-day tour of the Bolivian salt flats with a Spanish-speaking guide, and went horse riding with a Colombian family.
• Watch films or programmes together. Pause only when you have both agreed that this is a study session; sometimes it is fine simply to enjoy the story.
• Use waiting time for review. Keep a short shared card deck or vocabulary list and quiz each other only when both of you are in the mood.
• Sing together. Singing can make repeated listening and pronunciation practice more enjoyable. Check the meaning and register before memorising lyrics.

We also changed our device interfaces to Spanish, read magazines and books we genuinely wanted to read, followed Spanish-language accounts and used spaced repetition for vocabulary. The useful principle is to add the language to routines you already share, not to depend on a particular social platform.

Consider Lessons

You do not need classes to learn a language, but we found Spanish lessons useful for focus, feedback and regular conversation. We began with group classes in Buenos Aires, then switched after three weeks to separate private lessons because we were at different levels. Separate lessons let each of us work on different needs without turning one partner into the other’s teacher.

At several points during our year in South America, I took conversation classes for a couple of hours a day over one or two weeks. Simon was working and had less time for Spanish. Private lessons gave me concentrated practice without requiring our schedules or goals to match.

You could also consider a homestay if the host, privacy, cost and house rules suit you. We did not choose one because we needed privacy to work. We met another couple in Bolivia who attended different schools and stayed with different hosts for a week or two; they felt that the separation created more practice. That arrangement is optional, not a test of commitment, and it should be a joint decision.

Be Supportive

Learning with your partner gives you a familiar person to practise with after a trip ends. Agree on how and when you want corrections: immediately, after the conversation or only when a mistake blocks meaning. I learnt this the clumsy way after calling Simon’s arigatō (“thank you”) lame on our first day in Japan after a stressful journey. Even as a joke, it did not help.

Share Speaking Tasks

If one partner has a higher level, that person can end up booking every ticket, asking every question and ordering every meal. Agree on a fair division before the interaction. The less experienced learner might ask about bus times while the other handles a more complex booking, but neither partner should be sent into a task they have not agreed to do.

Choose Situations Where You Need the Language

You do not have to seek out a remote community or manufacture dependence to practise. Choose ordinary situations where the target language is useful: a class, market, walking tour, club or volunteer role with clear expectations. During our travels we had many conversations in Paraguay, and in the Peruvian Andes we volunteered at a school and attended a community feast where we used Spanish. Those experiences depended on the people and invitations involved; a place is not a practice resource simply because fewer visitors go there.

Learning as a couple can work well when the plan respects two people’s goals, energy and boundaries. Pick one shared routine and one independent source of conversation or feedback. Review the arrangement after a week, keep what helped and change what caused friction.

Erin McNeaney and Simon Fairbairn sold their belongings and left the UK in 2010. They continue to publish travel guides, packing advice, vegetarian travel tips and accounts of digital nomad life at Never Ending Voyage.