9 Ways to Help Your Partner Learn a Language

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“Learning French was a waste of time.” My wife was clearly frustrated to have spent her high school and college foreign language credits on learning French. She wished she’d learned Spanish so she could communicate with my family in Mexico.

And this really bothered me. I didn’t want her to feel excluded or like a failure when we visited my family for the first time.

As a native Spanish speaker, I know some of the challenges of becoming bilingual.

With her drive and determination, I began helping my wife learn basic Spanish. The fact that I have a teaching certification in the state of Texas was also helpful.

At the time I wrote this, we had been happily married for close to 4 years. By then, she could understand conversational Spanish and speak the language, and she felt that her French courses had helped her progress.

Here are nine ways I supported her Spanish. If you want to help your partner learn a language, start with their goals and comfort rather than assuming you should become their teacher.

A note from the Fluent in 3 Months team before we get started: You can chat away with a native speaker for at least 15 minutes with the “Fluent in 3 Months” method. All it takes is 90 days. Tap this link to find out more.

Strategy 1: Speak Your Partner’s Target Language at Home

Home can be a relaxed place to practise together, as long as your partner is happy to use the language there.

Agree on a few moments when you’ll use the language, such as cooking dinner or going for a walk, and let either person switch back when they need to.

You can name kitchen items while you cook together or start your daily walk with a few sentences in Spanish. Because these are things you already do together, the new words have an immediate context.

Strategy 2: Learn One Useful Phrase Together Each Day

Choose one phrase your partner is likely to use, then bring it back naturally during the day.

Everyday tasks are a good place to start, but include phrases that will help them handle practical situations when visiting another country.

Here are a few useful phrases I taught my wife:

• Estoy esperando el taxi – “I am waiting for the taxi”
• Necesito ir al baño – “I need to use the bathroom”
• ¿Cómo se dice…? – “How do you say…?”
• ¿Qué hora es? – “What time is it?”
• Me llamo ___ – “My name is ___”

Useful phrases can help your partner handle basic situations without relying on you to translate. Think about what they are most likely to need, such as asking the time, getting directions or explaining an emergency.

Strategy 3: Keep Immersion Comfortable

Regular contact with a language gives your partner more chances to hear and use it, which is why learning by immersion can help. Immersion doesn’t have to begin with a room full of strangers, though.

My wife is an introvert, and she doesn’t like the unfamiliar (she is a data-driven person and a planner, unlike me).

I began by encouraging her to speak Spanish with a few members of my family, people she knew and felt comfortable around.

For her, three people speaking Spanish together was about the limit of her comfort level. A larger group could leave her feeling excluded and uncomfortable, though your partner’s limit may be completely different.

Extra tip: Start with familiar people if that feels safer.

If your partner feels shy in a large group, begin with one or two people they know, then let them decide when they’re ready for a bigger conversation.

Strategy 4: Try Language Apps

Apps can turn a bit of downtime into practice, and it can be fun to compare notes with your partner.

Apps such as Duolingo can add structure to short practice sessions. Our Duolingo review looks at what it does well and where it falls short.

If your partner wants to practise with other people, a language exchange can give them one-to-one conversation or writing practice with someone who speaks their target language.

For more writing practice, they can also exchange messages with a pen pal.

Strategy 5: Watch TV or Listen to Music Together

TV, books and music can all bring more of the language into your home. Start with the medium your partner genuinely enjoys rather than the one you think they ought to use.

My wife didn’t want to sit through a whole series of Spanish shows to learn the language. A TV programme can be hard for a beginner to follow when the dialogue is fast and the story assumes cultural knowledge they don’t yet have.

For my wife, learning Spanish through music was easier and more enjoyable.

A repeated chorus gave her the same phrases several times and a rhythm to remember them by. We could pause to explain a line, listen again, and enjoy the song without turning every minute into a lesson.

Strategy 6: Read Together in the New Language

Reading aloud together can be relaxed, shared practice.

My wife bought a bilingual collection of love poems by Pablo Neruda. She asked me to romance her in two languages, and I was happy to oblige.

Reading aloud also helped me keep my Spanish sharp. At the time, I was living in the United States and working from home, so most of my Spanish came from calls with my family in Mexico.

We kept the Pablo Neruda poems by the bedside, and reading one or two before sleep became a routine we both enjoyed.

Extra tip: Let your partner take ownership of their learning.

Follow your partner’s pace and comfort level. My wife picked the book herself, and that initiative mattered more than anything I could have assigned her.

Strategy 7: Consider Classes or Courses

Once your partner knows the basics, they may want support beyond what you can offer. A class, tutor or online course can give their learning its own space, separate from your relationship.

If a fixed class doesn’t fit their schedule, an online option may be easier to work around the rest of their life. Our practical guide to learning a language can help them build a broader plan.

Before I helped her get to grips with the basics, my wife felt anxious and shy about learning Spanish. Once she had a basic understanding of the language, she was more willing to take risks and take ownership of her learning.

Strategy 8: Encourage Progress Without Taking Over

It can be discouraging to learn a new language without support, so notice the moments when your partner remembers a phrase or tries something new.

I have to admit that early on, I would sometimes laugh at a word or phrase my wife said.

I didn’t mean it maliciously, but she took it as negative feedback. Don’t dismiss your partner’s attempts or correct them so strongly that they become reluctant to speak.

Ask how and when your partner wants corrections. If a correction would interrupt the conversation, you can make a note and talk about it later.

My wife enjoys accomplishing tasks to the best of her ability, so understanding that part of her personality helped me support the way she learned.

Strategy 9: Know Why They’re Learning and Focus on That

Don’t force the learning process. For my wife, the goal was to communicate with my family in Spanish.

Ask what your partner wants the language for, then build practice around that. Their reason, pace and decision to continue belong to them.

Conclusion: Support the Learning, Not Control It

For another couple’s perspective, see how Bryce and Michele approached learning each other’s languages, and follow @languagehacking for more learner stories.

Learning together as a couple can be rewarding, but helping with a language won’t automatically make a relationship healthier.

In our marriage, Spanish gave my wife a practical way to talk with my family and gave us something to work on together. It also gave her another way into my culture, on her terms.

We benefited because we listened to each other and adjusted when something felt uncomfortable. These strategies are most useful when your partner wants the help.

I hope supporting your partner’s language learning is rewarding for both of you.